Take It Further Challenge #2 : I Remember The Love of My Grandmother,Thea

The theme for this month's Take It Further Challenge is what are we old enough to remember". I thought about that for some time. There are so many things I remember - so many good memories - along with the bad memories that we all have a supply of ! I thought about the many concerts I saw at the Fillmore East, about Woodstock, and about the lazy days spent at the lake or the old quarry. I remembered the coal furnace we used at my Grandmother's house in upstate New York , the hand pump for water in the kitchen, and the outhouse. I considered the pleasures of roller skating and hopscotch on New York City sidewalks, and exploring China Town, Little Italy & the garment district with my father; the vacations on Lake George when I could actually drank the water from the lake! So many things to remember!

I realized however, that what I remember most and what I am now old enoug to treasure the most is the love of my grandmother. Thea Elizabeth Kavanaugh Ellery. Born December 1898. Died September 1976. She was a red head and had four red-headed children;Ellen (my mother),James (my beloved uncle),John & William. My grandmother once applied for a job in the office at an amusement park & took great affront when she was offered the position of Mother Goose instead ! She had an indomitable spirit and lived through a lot of hard times with much grace and dignity. She helped make my childhood a much better time. I still love her with all of my heart and it is her love that I will always remember the most.

I painted on muslin using using Stewart Gill paints and ink. The photograph that I painted from was taken in 1918 - it is my favorite picture of my grandmother.

Angels Among Us or Happy Birthday James Odell Aloysius Ellery

Today would have been my beloved maternal uncle's birthday - He's the stylin' dude on the upper left in the photo (the others are also my uncles). I honor him here for "his" day. He passed on about 7 years ago. I still miss him. My grandmother - his mother- had heard somewhere that people born on February 15th were prone to being a bit fey. Family gossip always said that grandmother tended to treat him a bit more cautiously because of that superstition. Grandmother, however, was also convinced that I had the seem wacky familial fey gene. Maybe that's why I was extraordinarily close to my mother's family while I seldom saw (or thought of) my father's rather bland, conservative side of the family! I digress.

My uncle was my "champion" - never thinking that I was looney - always supporting me and my crazy life adventures - both artistic & otherwise. He was always there for me with unquestioned love & approval - or sometimes maybe not approval - but with positive suggestions. James was eccentric to be sure. I loved that quality about him! Maybe that's why we got along. He tended to fly in the face of modern conventions & he eschewed keeping up with any sort of Jones' lifestyle. He always signed his letters with "illegitimi non carborundum"- it was a saying that kept me going once or twice! I never heard it anywhere else.

On the day that I got the call about my uncle's death I was at work & became (duh!) rather upset. My friend , Lauren, took me out for a bit of fresh air. We walked to the store down the street and entered through the back door. When we left the store, we went out through the front door. Right in front of me -scrawled in large letters with fat chalk - on the sidewalk were the words "illigitimi non corobundum "! I knew that my uncle had managed to find a way to come to see me after all. His love will always sustain me - on his birthday and every day. Happy Birthday Uncle Jim ! There really are angels among us !

Happy Birthday Mother

Today would have been mother's 80th birthday. She was a beautiful Irish gal - born in Brooklyn, New York to a staunchly Irish Catholic family. She died in 1973 at 46. Mother loved - art, creativity, children (although I was an only child), family and home. Mother also developed an affinity for alcohol - and that is what killed her.

I believe that many sensitive, talented people develop this addiction, In the 50's and 60's, although those daily stressors were most certainly different than we have today - I don't think that they were any less pressuring. I don't say that Mother drank to escape the stress as as an excuse for her - but let's face it - there are many addictions that can call to us - it's just that some are more deadly than others. We all face choices just about every day of our lives. As a child of not one but two alcoholics I am still mystified how that gene has, thus far, bypassed me. Not that I am without vices mind you - we all have at least one or two (I am addicted to art supplies) ! I have just made choices along the way that, so far, have been more good than bad. I am keenly aware of the potential I must have lurking somewhere in my DNA - and try to be mindful it. I still miss my Mother every day and hope that somehow she knew how much I loved her. When, God willing, I turn 80 - I will probably still be wondering what she would have been like - had she been able to welcome the ninetieth decade of her life.

Independence Day

James Ellery, John (Jack) Ellery, William Ellery

Generally, I stay away from any topic that might even hint at politics - I have been relatively apolitical now for almost 30 years - and am personally happier that way. This is a day, however, for being thankful. Thankful for a country where were are blessed with plenty and with freedoms and with the ability to have choices.

I spend time each Independence Day giving thanks to my ancestor, William Ellery, who was a signer on the Declaration of Independence from Rhode Island (I like to fantasize that he knew Thomas Jefferson well - I think Thomas Jefferson was an amazing person!) ,to my three uncles who were in World War II (photo above), and to all of the troops who are fighting on foreign soil to keep us safe and free at home.

As a former member of the "protest" generation during the Viet Nam War I have done a lot of thinking along the way about those years, about that war and about the troops that gave of themselves during that time. Protests have a place - that's part of the freedom that we enjoy as American citizens. The troops are the ones however that are FIGHTING for freedom. I am fairly certain that many of them do not want to be where they are or doing what they are doing. It is their JOB and was their CHOICE. I am also sure that there are various reasons that one chooses to join the military - some reasons more plebeian that altruistic. A step mother, who was a former Marine Corp sargent, once suggested to me (at 16) that I should join the military to get "order & discipline" in my life. Hummmm - I might have lasted a day ! In hindsight ,however, I now understand what she was really suggesting .. she could have just said "wake up and get a grip ". It's our troops who are facing the reality of war. No one buys into the reality of the atrocities of war - no matter how ready they may think they are to be soldiers and warriors. I cannot imagine the things that soldiers have to see and do. I don't want to imagine. I do ostrich well

This may sound somewhat like a very conservative commentary - but I still consider my self a "conservative liberal". I distinctly remember when I added the 'conservative' part to that equation..but that's another story.

Today I just want to thank my ancestor, my family and our troops for honoring the memory and the values that our fore fathers believed in and risked everything to attain....our RIGHT to be free and our right to have choices. It's a wonderful premise for a country and although we ARE far from perfect - we have a proud heritage that I am grateful to be a part of.

Blessing to all and HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY !