The sky was sullen and wind blown yesterday
Yesterday I worked an extra day. I was happy to do it because I can really use the money what with the doctor's bills that I know will soon be forthcoming - well, to be completely honest I might just splurge on some art supplies with the extra cash. A soon-to-be birthday present to myself perhaps. The thing is that we were in the midst of a Winter storm in spring. The previous night we had pelting, icy rain and gale force winds - by morning the rain and stopped and the sky was screaming blue but the winds continued an, in fact, intensified. The windows along the Court room where I work were refitted when the building went through a historical refurbishing but when the winds hit from a certain direction the windows shake so badly that they feel like they are about to implode. Of course they wouldn't - but they do howl-l-l-l and make lots of noise. I have no doubt that the jurors were a bit worried - and also had a bit of trouble hearing above the howling of the windows. Thankfully they were a really lovely group of islanders - some I would love to know outside of work. I would love to ask them who they are? What they do? That sort of small talk that allows you to keep a pulse of your community.
I suppose that's all a long way round to saying that when I got home I was more than exhausted - I was dumb-founded, stare- at- the wall tired. I have been coddled the last few years by working part time and I thought that this would be a good test to see how I would do if I am forced to return to full time work -there are rumbling of that happening because of the economy. As always I like to think that I am haler and heartier than I am. I like to think that the years and the bone issues have not taken any toll. Well, I am announcing that they have - and that I would be less than mentally acute if I have to return to the aptly named grindstone. I know we all do what we have to do - but I would be hard pressed to have a life. Creativity might go by the wayside.
This is what I felt like yesterday evening - thinking, pondering, wondering
Which leads to my cogitations of last evening. Being Creative. What is it? Can we 'get' it? Are we born with it? I have no doubt that creativity lurks in all of us and I am not at all sure that it is not something that is born to all of us - we are all creative in one way or another. It does not have to mean only art. When I see something that is really inventive I think "WoW - what an amazing, creative, person they are" - and I think that I have no creativity when judged next to someone that I think is amazing. Are creativity and inventiveness the same -twigs on the same tree - or are they different? I mean a rocket scientist or quantum physics person must surely be way more inventive than I am - no? Being so tired made me ralize that at that moment I could not have pushed out a single creative thought or idea. NO scratches in my journal - nothing came to the forefront of my mind - other than watching "Dancing With The Stars" and then going to bed. It made me depressed to think that I could even get that tired that I cared nothing for color or creativity. It made me more depressed to consider a life being too tired to make art.
This beauty is pondering the nice clump of greens ahead.
Today I plan to play with some new Dr.PH.Martin's Hydrus watercolors. Art Supply Warehouse (ASW) had a fabuoulous sale on them and I could not pass up the deal. I had wanted to get some watercolors (another one of those things that I never thought I would want) but they are expensive and I knew that I wanted a set .. and didn't know what brand to get etc etc. I love Dr.PH Martins products and decided to stick with a brand I know and know I will use and enjoy. ASW's prices were close to $20.00 off per set during this sale than anywhere else.
I am still pondering creativity. I still wonder if I have it when I think that there are so many truly inventive and amazingly creative people in the world- and I wonder were it goes when I am "stare-at-the wall" tired. What are your thoughts on creativity and inventiveness? What's your favorite trick to get yourself into a creative frame of mind - and can you reach into the well when you are exhausted? How?
This little one is pondering his meal!
4 comments:
You are very creative-never doubt that. Even organizing and putting down those thoughts are creative. Being tired is our bodies way to demand rest, so rest then.
We, too, have had strange weather and lots of little hail storms. 37.5 degrees this morning-absolutely wrong for May. It is May, isn't it?
I am at that place that you are pondering. Working full time now since last January at a job mostly unrelated to the work of my career in technology. It takes me away from home ten hours a day.
Fortunately I am mostly absolved of any household duties but even so, sometimes I just sit in the studio and stare at the fabrics.
Once in a while colors and textures will sidle up to one another and suggest something but too often the results of pursuing my accustomed techniques fall flat and leave me unsatisfied even though the mere act of doing anything creative lifted my spirits for the moment.
We do what we must and when the creative effort does pay off, those moments and the rare happy outcomes, are somehow sweeter.
This is a very good post Marie and you bring up many points and questions that I have had. I also agree that we are all creative, but it needs to be cultivated like a garden. Some people are lucky and "grow like weeds", others of us need to amend out soil, water, fertilize, etc. As to tapping the well when exhausted, sick, or stuck, I wish I knew the answer. Hope the sun is back out. That was quite the storm, wasn't it! I spent yesterday picking up branches, roofing paper from a couple houses away, and being amazed at the dust clouds I kicked up as I walked from all the blown in sand on the lawn.
I've been following your blog for a while now and really enjoy it. This post especially interested me because I sometimes get that same 'stare at the stuff in the studio' frustration and can't seem to bring a creative thought to mind. One thing I do is grab my laptop, find some music, mostly nature sounds, and read blogs for inspiration. Sometimes it works right away and sometimes an inspiration mulls around in my mind for a day or two before finally appearing. Thanks for your inspiration...
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