The sky was sullen and wind blown yesterday
Yesterday I worked an extra day. I was happy to do it because I can really use the money what with the doctor's bills that I know will soon be forthcoming - well, to be completely honest I might just splurge on some art supplies with the extra cash. A soon-to-be birthday present to myself perhaps. The thing is that we were in the midst of a Winter storm in spring. The previous night we had pelting, icy rain and gale force winds - by morning the rain and stopped and the sky was screaming blue but the winds continued an, in fact, intensified. The windows along the Court room where I work were refitted when the building went through a historical refurbishing but when the winds hit from a certain direction the windows shake so badly that they feel like they are about to implode. Of course they wouldn't - but they do howl-l-l-l and make lots of noise. I have no doubt that the jurors were a bit worried - and also had a bit of trouble hearing above the howling of the windows. Thankfully they were a really lovely group of islanders - some I would love to know outside of work. I would love to ask them who they are? What they do? That sort of small talk that allows you to keep a pulse of your community.
I suppose that's all a long way round to saying that when I got home I was more than exhausted - I was dumb-founded, stare- at- the wall tired. I have been coddled the last few years by working part time and I thought that this would be a good test to see how I would do if I am forced to return to full time work -there are rumbling of that happening because of the economy. As always I like to think that I am haler and heartier than I am. I like to think that the years and the bone issues have not taken any toll. Well, I am announcing that they have - and that I would be less than mentally acute if I have to return to the aptly named grindstone. I know we all do what we have to do - but I would be hard pressed to have a life. Creativity might go by the wayside.
This is what I felt like yesterday evening - thinking, pondering, wondering
Which leads to my cogitations of last evening. Being Creative. What is it? Can we 'get' it? Are we born with it? I have no doubt that creativity lurks in all of us and I am not at all sure that it is not something that is born to all of us - we are all creative in one way or another. It does not have to mean only art. When I see something that is really inventive I think "WoW - what an amazing, creative, person they are" - and I think that I have no creativity when judged next to someone that I think is amazing. Are creativity and inventiveness the same -twigs on the same tree - or are they different? I mean a rocket scientist or quantum physics person must surely be way more inventive than I am - no? Being so tired made me ralize that at that moment I could not have pushed out a single creative thought or idea. NO scratches in my journal - nothing came to the forefront of my mind - other than watching "Dancing With The Stars" and then going to bed. It made me depressed to think that I could even get that tired that I cared nothing for color or creativity. It made me more depressed to consider a life being too tired to make art.
This beauty is pondering the nice clump of greens ahead.
Today I plan to play with some new Dr.PH.Martin's Hydrus watercolors. Art Supply Warehouse (ASW) had a fabuoulous sale on them and I could not pass up the deal. I had wanted to get some watercolors (another one of those things that I never thought I would want) but they are expensive and I knew that I wanted a set .. and didn't know what brand to get etc etc. I love Dr.PH Martins products and decided to stick with a brand I know and know I will use and enjoy. ASW's prices were close to $20.00 off per set during this sale than anywhere else.
I am still pondering creativity. I still wonder if I have it when I think that there are so many truly inventive and amazingly creative people in the world- and I wonder were it goes when I am "stare-at-the wall" tired. What are your thoughts on creativity and inventiveness? What's your favorite trick to get yourself into a creative frame of mind - and can you reach into the well when you are exhausted? How?
This little one is pondering his meal!